I Need a Nanny!!

First of all, before I even start this I want all of you to know that this sounds like complaining, but it is actually venting. It is just something I am going to have to get off my chest before I drive myself crazy. So here it goes, are you ready for this?

I know there are plenty of mothers out there that go to work every day and would love to have my stay at home job. And yes there are days when I am so glad that I don't have to get up early and get ready to go to work. However, more and more, I am wishing that I had a job, outside of the house, at least something part time. I never, and I mean never, have anytime to myself. When I go to the bathroom, I ususally have someone following me. When I take a shower, Xavier is usually on the floor watching me, more so that I know where he is and what he is doing. I just wish for one morning, I could just worry about me. And I am not wanting that to sound selfish, for I love my children and I am so blessed that God chose me to be their mother, but more for the fact of my husband. Michael gets up at 5:30 in the morning with no care in the world other than what he needs for the day. He eats his breakfast in peace and quiet, and then heads off to get ready for work. He has no idea who doesn't want to get up in the morning and get ready for school because they didn't go to bed on time the night before. He doesn't have to listen to the bickering in the morning because the kids are tired (still from not getting to bed on time the night before((I'll get to that in a minute)). He doesn't care, at all, what clothes is or isn't clean for the kids for school. He doesn't have to ramble on every morning about what there is for breakfast food, so that each one is satisfied and goes to school with a full tummy. He doesn't even ask to see there school work, or ask to see their book bags, in which I have to sign Dylan's planner each night. Then as they are finally off on the bus, he does not have the monotony of doing the same ol' housework every day. I never feel like I have accomplished anything, because what I do today is still there tomorrow. At least on his job, he might do the same thing (wire a house) but at least he has the sense of accomplishment, as he moves on to a different house. I never feel that. Then while the dishwasher is running, or the washing machine is washing, and I have finished vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning toilets, I still have payroll to do. Or the book work that is piling up (haven't entered any receipts since the first of the year, and I am going to start to catch up on them before I fall even farther behind), or the statements he brought me late last night then need sent out so that we get paid. Or the contractor that owes us thousands, and has not paid since Jan, so I have to make that phone call to the attorney and send him the paperwork so that we can eventually get our money. Oh hang on, the washer just completed, let me go hang out those clothes. Wow, the grass really grew up over night, I will have to get it mowed that afternoon. Now back to the bookwork, let's see dang it, I forgot to pay bills, better get that done. While I'm on the computer, I think I will check the kids grades. Incomplete, what, how did that happen, I will have to remember to ask about that when the kids get home. Now where was I, oh yes, paying those bills. Hmmm, what should we have for dinner tonight, something that everyone will like, and have no complaints. Xavier, did you dirty your diaper? Whew, that was a stinker, off to the garage trash. Oh trash, another thing, better get it ready to go out tomorrow morning. Where is all the time going, time to get lunch for Xavier and watch for Sydnie's bus. Now to make lunch for Syd and get X down for a nap. Still need to get those statements done and finish those bills. Well, now that Xavier is down for his nap, I had better go get the lawnmower greased up and get started on that grass. While mowing I notice that the flowers, trees, and garden are in need of water. Mow around the garden and get the hose going on it. Sydnie comes out of the house with the phone, take the phone call, have to quit and look something up for Michael on the computer, now back to the mowing. Well, now that my afternoon is shot, and the kids will be home soon, Xavier is up and oh yeah, I still haven't laid any meat out of the freezer for dinner tonight. What should we have? Now does anyone have any homework that needs done? Run someone to ball practice. Still mowing the yard. Get Xavier fed dinner and get dinner on for the rest of us. Finish that load of laundry in the washer, and get dinner on the table. Now off to get the little ones in the tub for their bath, read a story (maybe if we get time) and ready for bed. Still have those bids to get in the computer that Michael is working on while I give the kids baths, only to come out and find him playing Mafia Wars on the laptop (a facebook thing). Wow really, he was at work all day, came home and got to ride out to the pasture and count cows, to come home and play on the computer instead of having the print ready so that I am not working on bids at 10:00. Hmmm, did he even think once about the kids, or I , or what needed done around the house today? NOO!! All the mean while, I still am getting the older kids ready for bed. Sent them off to their rooms only 20 minutes behind, bedtime is 8:30 not 9:00. While I am now rocking and feeding X, I hear them goofing off downstairs, really, Michael, can you go and tell the kids they need to get to sleep. Put Xavier to bed, finish the laundry and cleaning up after dinner as I haven't done that yet. Now are you ready to work on bids? Do the bids and by now I am exhausted, so I am going to bed, guess I will work on the statements and bookwork tomorrow. But will I accomplish any thing tomorrow?? We'll see!!

So now let me explain a little. Michael used to be such a big help to me. He ALWAYS gave the evening baths. I at least used to get 5 or 10 minutes to myself in the evenings. Now, never. He rarely, but sometimes, give the kids their baths. He is soo, soo, addicted to crap on facebook, Mafia Wars, and Texas Hold 'Em. And yes I do play Texas Hold 'Em as well, usually when the kids are tucked into bed, and I am tuckered out for the night. Not when they are still up and need to get things done and off to bed. It seems like the more I do, the more I am just expected to do. I would just love to be able to not worry about what needs done, or who has what going on tomorrow after school, or what to cook for dinner, or WHATEVER, for just once. Sometimes I even feel like he is a kid. I have asked him several times to clean up a cooler that he used for some beverages when they built fence. It was in the garage, and he managed to get the water and cans out of it and then put it in the hall bath to wash up. I eventually, after asking several times for him to clean it up, moved it to the front door step to get it out of my way in the bathroom. Now I have again asked him to get it cleaned up and put away and it still sits on the front door step. This bothers me most because if that were the kids, it would have been thrown away long ago. They don't get that many chances. I just get tired of nagging, but if he would just do it I wouldn't have to. And I am NOT doing it. That is what I am talking about the more I do for him, the more he expects, and the less he does. I am not wonder women. I would like to think that I am, however, I am not. Okay, this is a lot longer than I had hoped, but maybe I feel a little better to get that off my chest. I do love to be at home most of the time, but sometimes, I think if I had to work outside of the house, I would get a lot more help here at the house. So this is just venting, something to get it off my chest, I am trying not to complain, as I know it could be a lot worse.

Now on to the kids. Sydnie has only 2 days of school left, then off to Kindergarten in the fall. WOW! And the other kids have 5 1/2 days left. I cannot believe it is almost summer. We have been working hard on getting the pool put in the back yard, it will be so nice. Xavier is crawling and climbing and trying hard to stand up on his own. He is loving the ability to be outside. He is fascinated by the cows. He still has only 4 teeth, but is really loving the finger foods he is able to eat. I am going to try and post some photos and maybe a video later, probably tomorrow. For today, it is off to get the statements out in the mail, and then mow this afternoon, hopefully. Hope you all have a great day.